When Fear Threatens Our Prosperity

When Fear Threatens Our Prosperity

Fear is a funny thing – and by funny I clearly mean not funny at all, in fact it’s terrifying. Not a profound statement, I’m aware, but how do we fight a case of the fears that seem to creep into our minds during certain seasons of our life? History would tell me that I’ve battled this crippling thought process for years: am I good enough, what if I fail, what if I do all this for nothing? But faith and the truth in God’s vision would tell a different story… Continue reading “When Fear Threatens Our Prosperity”

Crying my way to God

Crying my way to God

Welp. Y’all. It happened. It appears as though when I opened up about my infertility struggles in my last post, I also opened up Pandoras box – also known as a small window into my heart. I honestly didn’t realize that I had been trying so hard to keep it shut for all this time that even opening it a few inches pushed forth the flood gates that were quietly stirring, waiting for their chance to be set free. After all, even the sad, angry, and fearful feelings need their time to air out too, (apparently). But sometimes it just feels good, and maybe a tad easier, to put a bandaid over them and walk away until a new bandaid is needed. Sometimes it plain sucks to feel all those feelings I’ve pushed inside that window and covered with happy bandaids to deal with at another point in time. You know the ol’ “I’ll deal with that when I’m ready” adage? Continue reading “Crying my way to God”

The Blessing of a No

The Blessing of a No

I’ve been sitting on this post for quite some time now, for no particular reason other than it just didn’t feel like the right time. And to be completely honest, I’m still not motivated by ‘my timing’, but something bigger than myself at this point. Maybe it’s the timing of it being National Infertility Awareness week, or maybe it’s the peace I feel when I intently stare at my son and thank God for the opportunity to be raise him with Geoff. Or maybe it’s a combination of those mixed with a number of different reasons that I still don’t feel I have the true capability of articulating at the moment. Continue reading “The Blessing of a No”

Giving Yourself Grace

Giving Yourself Grace

Not too long ago I went on a women’s retreat through my home church at Southside United Methodist in Jacksonville, FL. The retreat was nearby, but just far enough in distance to give you the mental capacity of a vacation in the quaint historical town of Fernandina Beach. The theme for the weekend was Grace, and I was fully equipped to ball my eyes out like a baby as I soaked in the word of Jesus surrounded by other strong women all looking for the same thing: strength in numbers. Maybe I’m ‘broad brushing’ here on what the other women were searching for during this time of spiritual growth, but I would imagine it was in the ball park of gaining strength. Maybe it was physically, from ailments they or loved ones have experienced; mentally from the day-to-day exhaustion of just plain ‘adulting’, or maybe just a spiritual uplifter to refuel their tanks for the year ahead. Regardless of the specific reasons, I think we can all agree we all need strength from somewhere to counterbalance our weaknesses that are hardwired in us from, well, life. Continue reading “Giving Yourself Grace”

Simple Isn’t Simple At All

Simple Isn’t Simple At All

Simplify. This word keeps grabbing my attention lately at every siting or conversation. I feel as though it is a task God is asking me to complete, but I quickly brush it off as a coincidence or ‘something I’ll get to later.’ What does it even mean? How much more could I possibly simplify my days here? After all, I’m not working right now and I fill my days with the activities of my choosing, whether leisure or active, which all sounds pretty simplistic to me. But I guess the word ‘simple’ can be a subjective term, do you agree? By definition the word simple is easily understood or done; presenting no difficulty. Well, that couldn’t be further from the truth of how I’m feeling on the inside. It seems as though I’m trying to convey a simple schedule of life while in reality I’m clouded with anything but. If I’m honest, my mind if filled with too many thoughts, to dos, and plans of the future. All of which are out of my control, and yet, I try to control by thinking/planning more. *sigh* #letitgo Continue reading “Simple Isn’t Simple At All”