Not all paths are paved

Dang y’all, I haven’t written a Motivational Monday post in what seems like forever! Recently I was delt an unfavorable card in my professional life, and I felt drawn to share it here on LtL.

As some of you know I’ve been on a personal journey for..well, ever! but more specifically this last year pursuing a career at the children’s hospital here in Tacoma. After graduating last year with a second degree in Communication Disorders I excitedly sought was needed to become a Child Life Specialist. I’ve felt as though God was leading me to a place where I was meant to be both personally and professionally in a field where I feel passionately connected to.

A little over a month ago I submitted my application for the child life internship offered at the local children’s hospital. It’s a pretty competitive program where an average of 35-40 apply and only one is selected. After working 6+ months with the child life department in the oncology peds floor, I met some amazing people, built professional connections, and was feeling pretty good about my chances for the internship process. I was contacted by one of the child life specialists in charge of the program that I had been selected for the first round of interviews. YASSSS! I was so excited. I prepped and prayed as my phone interview approached. Each candidate had 15 minutes with about 4-5 questions to answer. My untamed excitement for the opportunity had my nerves A MESS! Y’all…my voice was so shaky I felt like I was an awkward 6th grader asking her crush what time it was (or something to the equivalent…you get the picture) 😉 Being who I am, I had to mention said nervousness during my interview — it was like the elephant in the room for me. Anyway, I felt pretty good about the interview, all but my very last question, we ended the interview and I waited with baited breath for the next step.

Fast forward about a week and something just wasn’t feeling right in my soul. I felt God tugging for me to come close — so I grabbed my devotional and about fell outta bed *slight exaggeration, please continue reading* The message read “Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Some of My richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight, but nonetheless very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith–not by sight.” I felt Him prepping my heart for the news that was to come…the very next day.

I didn’t get the internship. The news crushed me, I won’t lie. I cried all the way home from my boot camp that morning. I felt God had been telling me No for so many years and I felt as though I had finally found my Yes as to what I was meant to do in my professional life. But when the tears stopped falling I still felt God’s warm embrace. This may be a No for right now…or always, but I know my Yes is with Him and He will lead me there.

This pic was taken on our most recent Mt Rainier hike. All of the winding paths leading up to the mountain were so symbolic for me that day. I could see all of them, paved with their own purpose and each leading to a different destination. Some were rocky and others were smoothly paved for easy travel.

I still have my moments of *er* frustration from not being chosen for the program. I think it makes it more difficult to swallow when I don’t know the why…I tell myself I need that in order to really accept it and move on. But, I know in my heart I don’t need that because God will show me in His own time. It may even be years from now until I see His plan, but I know there is one and that helps me in my impatient thoughts of anger.