I’ve been sitting on this post for quite some time now, for no particular reason other than it just didn’t feel like the right time. And to be completely honest, I’m still not motivated by ‘my timing’, but something bigger than myself at this point. Maybe it’s the timing of it being National Infertility Awareness week, or maybe it’s the peace I feel when I intently stare at my son and thank God for the opportunity to be raise him with Geoff. Or maybe it’s a combination of those mixed with a number of different reasons that I still don’t feel I have the true capability of articulating at the moment.
In a recent post I came across on FB, I think Sarah Braden says it perfectly. It really gave me the understanding I was searching for without knowing. You see, my story’s no different than many others — I’ve had heartache, loss, rejection after rejection, and I’ve heard ‘No’ to countless passions and goals I’ve worked towards. But, after some time and reflection and trusting God’s plans; His bigger picture beyond the sting of a ‘No’, I’ve seen what and where His ‘Nos’ have led me.
I’m not going to give y’all some cliche answer that they’ve led me to Nirvana or some higher calling, but they have led me closer to Him…some not immediately and some soon after, but I finally got it. I got Sarah’s message of the hashtag blessed life. It’s not the beautiful pics or happy moments posted on social media or shared between loved ones. Those I am beyond thankful for…it’s the moments I need Jesus the most, lean on Him, call out for Him in times of despair that I am #blessed.
This all might sound completely crazy to some of you, and maybe it is, but for me I know it to be true…
For me, the blessing of a ‘No’ was the comfort I felt in my pain from rejection of an internship I worked so hard for. It is the grace and promise I heard after miscarriages, negative pregnancy tests, failed hormone injections, visit after visit to the infertility specialist and eventually being diagnosed with Secondary Infertility. It is the peace I feel knowing Jesus always promised to take us in His arms, move after move, and find our right community to settle into. In each heart ache, the hashtag blessed life is what I’ve known and keep near to my heart. Because in each of these moments I have felt the overwhelming rush of promise that His work is not yet done. <3
Happy Friday, friends! I hope today’s post brings you promise to the days to come and confidence in knowing His work his not yet complete in each of you.
Lemons to Love,
Matthew 5: 1-12
“Blessed are those…”